Why Your Relationship May Not Be Working

I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day and we were talking about our relationships with our significant other. He was tell me all the things that were not working out in his present relationship and thinking about getting out of it to find himself a new love. This isn’t uncommon for people that when the relationship that they are in gets difficult they decided that it seems easier to just leave. The only thing is that if you do leave you will end up in another relationship happy at first but soon you will find yourself if not in the same situation as the relationship you just left or something like it.

I asked my friend if he was open to hear some relationships advice that could make his relationship better because I told him that mine was great but it hasn’t always been that way but I learned how to make it better for me and my wife.

My advice to him was simple

  1. Find out what she wants most from you
  2. Give it to her

I know it may sound simple and it is. For example I told him that my wife likes for me to help out around the house and to keep things clean which can be a task at times with four kids running around the house all day. I also cook supper on weekdays because of work schedules I am home in time to make supper for the whole family and she really appreciates this and shows it with the love I receive from her.

My friend told me that he does this stuff all the time but his girlfriend doesn’t appreciate him cooking supper everyday and keeping the house clean for her. This usually makes him end up resenting her and not wanting to do anything for her and then the vicious cycle of resentment and blame begins. I told him that isn’t what she wants from you. Remember I said find out what she wants and give it to her the keyword is what she wants.

Most of the time we will do things for our mate in our relationships that we would like or appreciate ourselves but the only thing is that our mate may be wanting or looking for something else from you. For example my wife loves when I help out around the house but I don’t like to do it but I love her so I help out. My needs are met by her in other ways. I like when she just spends quality time with me talking and listening to what has been happening in our lives. In the past when she wasn’t willing to do this I wouldn’t be willing to help out around the house and you can see where this can lead to a vicious cycle of resentment on both our parts.

Sometimes you have to be the one to take the first steps and do for your mate the things that they want from you even if you feel that you are not getting anything in return. After awhile when you are giving your mate what they want and need from you they can’t help but want to give you what you want and need in the relationship too. This is the thing that worked for me and I hope my friend gives it a try because I know that in the end it will work and his relationship will get better and grow stronger as time goes by.

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